www.InternetWork.org.uk - Home Of The Blue Dash Conversion

The US government has a new web site, http://www.ready.gov.

The thing is that the pictures from the site are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run.

If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism
whistle. If you Vin Diesel, well really loud

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it
against the wall with your shoulder

If your sprayed with an unknown substance,
stand back and think about a cool design for a tattoo

Use your torch to lift the walls right off you

The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with
soap, water and at least one armless hand

Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth
criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the hell away

Hurricanes, animal corpses and your new potential
tattoo have alot in common. Think about it

Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy.
Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically

If a door is closed, karate chop it open

Try to absorb as much radiation as you can with the
groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds,
however, you may become sterile

After exposure to radiation its important to consider that you may
have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed
hand, remember to close the window.
No one want to see that shit

If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni
on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell

If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand ,
with your arms akimbo until they stop

If you are trapped under falling debris,
conserve oxygen by not farting

If you loose a contact lens during a
chemical attack, do not stop to look for it

Do not drive a car with a power pole
is protruding from the bonnet

A one inch piece of plywood should be
sufficient protection against radiation

Always remember to carry food with you during a
terrorist attack. At least you'll be able to enjoy
a nice coke and apple before you die


And now you know what to do in an emergency!